Inspired by <a href=”http://comments“>comments on Bryan White’ recent dream, and Cindy’s sight of the Chinese balloon in St Louis
These days I’ve been waking up several times a night on account of a medical problem that may or may not be identified next week by a special investigation at the hospital, preceded by 2 days of special dietary preparation plus many litres of water. I’ll spare you the rest.
So here are my notes at 6.30 on yesterday morning:
The last time i woke up (2.30) it was from an interesting dream. I was standing at my desk (where I’m writing now) perusing its narrow bookshelf. A dim light went on in the little bedroom and my sleepy eldest son emerged. I was very glad to see him.
We started to converse but then I opened my eyes enough to see that i was wasn’t at my desk now but lying in bed with K asleep beside me. My son was slowly opening that door but hadn’t yet quite entered the room. So I whispered an apology to K for waking her up with our conversation. This woke me up properly and I realized it was a dream. K was still asleep, and I quickly followed suit.
But not for long. I returned to the dream. My son had become a poor Catholic priest, and after his surprising nocturnal visit, I wanted to help him out with £1 a week to his bank account. No, we could certainly afford more. I’d agree with K what amount and we’d set up a direct debit, anonymous to protect a little of his pride. But I didn’t have his bank details. It would be too embarrassing to ask him.
So I woke up again to go to the bathroom, fourth visit in the night. Here I am again at the desktop, with a snack to help sleep till morning.
a wayfarer’s notes 
Believer or not, you are a true man of God. You are always so bright, kind-spirited and giving. Even in the wee hours of night, when surrounded by darkness, restless sleep and persistent pain. Perhaps you will get to be a poor catholic priest in your next life (if reincarnation is possible). I can’t think of anything more noble to be.
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But I’m sure your oldest son would be a wonderful poor catholic priest, too!
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I’m gonna rewind time and be Saint Xenia in my next life. Ha. I wish.
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I looked up st xenia and found
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The question is, whether husbands and wives can be like St. Xenia; prioritizing the sole purpose of marriage. The salvation of each other, in life and even in death. Are we poor for our spouse’s salvation, do we fast for our spouse’s salvation, do we pray for our spouse’s salvation, do we offer charity for our spouse’s salvation, and profoundly, are we humble for our spouse’s salvation?
Indeed, it is well and good that husbands and wives offer emotional and material support to the other, out of love. But those things which are seen, and valued by the world as being “sane” are ultimately transitory, limited by sin and eventually by death. The offering of a spouse to the other for their salvation in contrast, participates in the eternal and uncreated love of the Trinity, that not even death can tarnish or end. St. Xenia’s devotion of love for her husband’s salvation was in the eyes of the world very “insane”. Yet she has shown us the only thing that matters in marriage; the love of God. This might be the only thing that keeps a marriage “sane” in a very insane and broken world.
By the prayers of our beloved Mother Xenia, may our marriages be strengthened by the love of God, poured into our hearts by the grace of the Holy Spirit, and that our love for each other might be perfected and transformed from that of simple biology and sociology, to that which is of God, unending and eternal love revealed here and now, and in the Kingdom of Heaven.
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The above was pasted from a website. She lost her husband early and i suppose went religious in consequence.
The author of the above talks of ‘prioritizing the sole purpose of marriage’. What a load of bollocks (as we say over here). Marriage has many purposes as any sane person knows
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Ick. I agree.
I always figured she wandered the streets in her dead husband’s ratty old military coat to ward off the unwanted advances of unsavory homeless men. I doubt she even liked him after death for leaving her alone in this world . He drank so much at a party that he died of alcohol poisoning.
What I like about her is that she was helpful to others. She was literally always on the outside looking in on people. She developed a keen sense for feeling what others were feeling. She always knew what was about to come next. She could easily size up any situation and predict the outcome. She loved being productive and helpful. People would have thought she was strange for wanting to help construction workers carry bricks up scaffolding to their job site, so she did it in the wee hours of night when no-one was about. She would do anything for anybody at the drop of a hat.
She gave away her house to a homeless family, and her own family tried to have her declared insane for doing so, but she was judged to be in her right mind. At night she would climb through windows of poor croupy babies and kids to nurture and doctor them while their lazy neglectful mother’s slept. Other nights she slept in an open field under the cold bright stars, where she cried and prayed. I especially like all the depictions of her that have been painted over time. She just wanted to be left alone to do her own thing without having to deal with the opinions and egos of others.
But that is just the way I think of her.
Sorry I messed up your comment section.
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“….mother’s slept”. First typo I saw. Probably a hundred more. So sorry.
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