The Unnamed Road

This piece was  written in 2015, then forgotten, not published till a year later   I’m on Telford Way. It seems to remind me of something, I can't say what or when. A time before. How to explain it? Sometimes you have such big thoughts, you cannot really express them. Your consciousness spreads its attention…

From Etty, to God

". . . there is a remarkable woman who can give us vision and stability, who can help us to do good despite all the (---) . She speaks from another time of dread, the Holocaust."* You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend Your dwelling place inside us to the last.…

Delicious, not precious

Contemplating mortality is not about being prepared to die, it is about being prepared to live. And that is what I am doing now, more freely and more fully than I have since childhood. The cancer has not made life more precious – that would make it seem like something fragile to lock away in…

Opportunity vs. Opportunism

No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Manor of thy friends or of thine owne were;…

Seeing the funny side

Karleen and I, being officially members of an endangered species by reason of age and preexisting ailments, are being held in captivity. Not a breeding pair, we've gone beyond that responsibility. We read that the kinds of face-masks we could buy are not effective, and that social distancing requires 6 ft of separation, which rules…

Microcosmic plague news

Karleen and I, being officially members of an endangered species by reason of age and preexisting ailments, are being held in captivity. Not a breeding pair, we've gone beyond that responsibility. We read that the kinds of face-masks we could buy are not effective, and that social distancing requires 6 ft of separation, which rules…

Images of the future

From a radio interview I transcribed 10 years ago: Lovelock: ... I could be completely wrong, but if it does really warm up as badly as I’ve said in that book, and it might well do, then we’ll be lucky if there’s a billion left. And that’s a lot— Humphrys: So in other words, seven…

A graceful retreat

This is to say thank you to all readers and especially to Ellie Clayton, Phil Ebersole, IanInverness and Michael Peverett, for your comments on my recent Simone Weil posts. Also to those who clicked on "like". Most especially to those who remained silent. It's all valuable feedback. It's become clear that reading Gravity and Grace…

Simone Weil on Evil

The text below is a bold rendering in idiomatic English of Simone Weil's La pesanteur et la grâce, chapter 15 "Le mal". Much could be said to introduce the author and her writings, not to mention the approach I've taken, which some may condemn as a paraphrase. My view is that the language of French…

Simone Weil on Politics & Justice

to Phil Ebersole, demonstrating Simone Weil's deep commitment as a thinker and activist; as well as, I suggest, her particular relevance to a world which has lost its once-revered guiding principles. See our exchange of comments in my last. ************* This is the last section of her essay on Human Personality: the Just and the…

Gravity and Grace

Below is a rendering of Simone Weil's jottings on what she calls "gravity and grace" in the title piece of La Pesanteur et La Grâce. Every natural impulse of the soul is governed by laws analogous to physical gravity: except only grace. We must always expect things to turn out as if pulled downwards by…

Jottings on Love

Simone Weil (1909-43) belonged to a species so rare, it had only one member.* The piece below is from jottings in her notebooks, edited and published posthumously as La pesanteur et la grâce. She's not always easy to understand, and this is made worse by play-it-safe literal translations†. Trying to approach her thought more closely,…

Guided Randomness

I've often asked myself "Do you believe in God?" but never got an answer, only that it's an unanswerable question. A better one would be "What do you believe in?" One has to search within oneself, but not for some borrowed ideas and expressions, some flag of convenience to sail under and dodge the challenge.…

Face-to-Face

The ghost of Christine Keeler is returning to public view, in the form of a TV series now on BBC, and a forthcoming exhibition in London, which I heard about through Natalie D'Arbeloff's blog, in which she says Christine Keeler was, in that story, simultaneously absolutely powerless and absolutely powerful. She was neither victim nor…

Traherne’s Centuries

In response to interest from several readers, I've put up a complete version of the Centuries. You can read it online, download, or print double-sided. The text was obtained by scanning each page of a personal copy ("first edition thus") and then submitting them to an online OCR service. The resultant text was pasted into…

Thomas Traherne: His Outlook on Life

An essay by Frances Towers in 1920, a few years after the first publication of manuscripts by Thomas Traherne from the 17th century.  BETWEEN the covers of the Centuries of Meditation lies a spiritual kingdom. It has a close affinity with certain other kingdoms of the spirit, and the wanderer who crosses that threshold is…

What is the most beautiful?

This is from Traherne's second Century, chapter 21. It is mentioned in an essay on Traherne, which I recommend, by Frances Towers: ''Thomas Traherne: his outlook on life'. When Amasis the King of Egypt sent to the wise men of Greece, to know, Quid Pulcherrimum? upon due and mature consideration they answered, The World. The…

Attitude

I suppose theology is the study of what God is and isn't. I've never looked into Thomas Aquinas, but am grateful for this excerpt from Why Rousseau Was Wrong*: Its positive attitude reminds me of a quote from Thomas Traherne recently published on this blog†. The excerpt  above came from a summary‡ of how St…

Wise

Emerson, from 'The Oversoul'

Unjudging

Dostoevsky, from Father Zossima's discourse in The Brothers Karamazov, freely rendered

Self-proclaiming

Whitman, from Song of Myself

Attracted

Gerald Bullett, from his essay 'Dreaming', 1928  

Natural

Gerald Bullett has this to say about the excerpt:

Akin

Gerald Bullett, anthologist of The Testament of Light, writes this of the above excerpt:

Humble

Dostoevsky, from Father Zossima's discourse in The Brothers Karamazov  

Generous

from Miguel de Unamuno, The Life of Don Quixote and Sancho, tr. Homer P. Earle

Forgiving

from The Gospel according to St. John, a blend of three translations: Tyndale, Authorized Version, and Revised Version

Constant

Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

Blissful

Wordsworth, from Intimations of Immortality

Outreaching

Traherne, from Centuries of Meditations  

Animal

Logan Pearsall Smith, 'Desires' from Trivia (amazon.com) or Trivia (amazon.co.uk)

Thirteen

In thirteen years of this blog, I've discovered some precious things and attempted to expose them in the form of words. As to why, it was an impulse aimed at my own pleasure, first to write and then the desire for outreach, unhindered & unlimited. Such was the blogosphere in 2006: there were many of…

While Unsleeping

A kind of liberation ensues when you accept the situation, displeasing as it may be, that you find yourself in at this moment. For example insomnia & remembrance of past mistakes—to name but one. For me, they are synonymous. Liberation is an art, the act of turning something round the other way. To embrace the…

They that go down to the sea in ships

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep. For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof. They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths:…

Strange Angels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVrZZymiGPI Video is a clip from "The Doctor", a 1991 film starring William Hurt and Elizabeth Perkins. Background music is from a song by Laurie Anderson. Strange angels - / Singing just for me / Old stories - / They’re haunting me / This is nothing like I thought it would be ¶ Well I…

The End of the World is Nigh

A blogging friend has lobbed a brickbat at the ecodoomsters. In a sardonic post, he links approvingly to a short talk on YouTube in which Michelle Stirling asks What if journalists and activists were literally driving people to despair, even suicide, on climate change? And what if they're wrong about the end of the world…

Shapes of Space

As I lay awake this morning before getting up, a great procession of thoughts came to visit me. Thoughts? I'm not sure what a thought is. They were dwelling-places of the imagination, like images from a waking dream. I guess they were prompted by my last post, which suggested I’d work on my life-story; and…

Dancing on the Bar

I'm finding that life is full of pointers from a friendly universe, to guide us on our way, if we are open to the moment like a small child seeing everything for the first time. These words spoke to me this morning, and helped crystallize my resolve: Retirement gave me a sense of the brevity,…

Tall stories from Vancouver

Love Affairs: Tales of Love, Romance, and Sex by Arash Farzaneh My rating: 4 of 5 stars Farzaneh has a very appealing imagination, which directs his hero towards a variety of young women encountered during a year in downtown Vancouver, where “all types of girls can be found on the street”. At the end of…

William Inge, priest

(much revised from earlier version now withdrawn) A few years ago I bought a LINNMON desktop from Ikea like this. My optical mouse didn't work on it and I didn't want to be restricted to a mousemat, so I decided to cover it with a newsprint facsimile, and chose the BBC's Radio Times of September…

Glad, part 1

My life has changed so radically in the last 7 days that I don't know what to say. Unless I write, knowing I'll reach a handful of readers, I won't have access to my true thoughts and feelings. Strange perhaps, but it's been this way for a long time. In ordinary consciousness, this radical change…

Navigating this site

Angels, animals, beginnings, being human, Bible, blessings, books, childhood, Chilterns, civilization, curiosity, dreams, encounters, films, God, interviews, life-story, mainly pictures, make & mend, might-have-beens, moments, mortality, music & video, neighbourhood, not-doing, reminiscence, seasons, speculation, spirituality, trial & error, true knowledge, wayfaring, whisperings, who am I, writings  

Brexit dream 4

I was going to call this “The Vision of Perfection”, I’ll try and explain later. But then I jotted down the outline of a confused dream I’d just woken from. An interpretation slowly took form. To dream it at all seemed exhausting. There was a great deal of fruitless effort was being made, seven nights…

The Unfairness Started with Adam & Eve

Before that apple business, Adam and Eve were buddies, gambolling around the Garden with the other animals like a couple of kids and if they had sex at all, it was innocent sex. Then sly old Satan, dressed up as a snake, wriggled up to Eve, handed her the apple and aroused her curiosity with…

The writing on the wall

Yesterday I was accosted by a big black woman of mature years on a corner of the Ledborough Road—that village pump, that microcosm of this glorious world, a few stones'-throws away.  She was not unbeautiful, the sidewalk was not wide, she only needed to stand there to slow my pace. She beamed as though I…

The Bitter Taste

Occasionally, I like to revisit ideas that I disagree with, to see if I can find a reason to reconsider my position. It's a wonderful thing when something compels you to change your mind. It's like a whole new area of the game board opens up. Suddenly there are all these fresh opportunities. It's how…

Finnegan’s

One of our group the other day, who shall be nameless because I can't for the moment remember which of two it was, commented that he was rather put off by this blog's title, "The Retreat". He associated retreat with defeat. That's how tricky words can be, like petards. For ’tis the sport to have…

about someone, for someone

I scribbled these words the other morning while drinking tea in bed and in between my turns at doing the telegraph crossword. they just flowed out, so perhaps they have no value. butI've decided to publish them here anyway, for someone who will perhaps hate them. Trump. A one-trick pony. Knows how to cut a…

“Cancer, I Love You”

I’ve been following Arash’s World for years, always enjoying his essays and book reviews. I found his latest review of particular interest, and bought a copy of the book, very reasonably priced on Kindle. It’s inspired me to submit a review of my own, not in rivalry to Arash’s, but because I was given a…

Business as Usual

Drafted, but never published as a post, on December 14th, 2015. I'd sent it to Cindy as a pdf file and forgot about it thereafter, till she reminded me of it yesterday. Here's a good place to let it hang out to dry From my far-away viewpoint, Donald Trump is a huggy bear crying wolf,…

Religious abuse?

My sister emailed me: I have been sorting through old books & I have just come across this New Testament belonging to you, do you remember it ? Let me know if you’d like it ? 2& half ins x 4ins in size ! I replied "Thank you! I would certainly like it, things like…

Making it up as we go along

I'm not good at deciding. I say I'll do something and I carry on in that vein for a while, faithful to a settled idea, that it's the right thing, that I made the "right" decision: perhaps for days, months, years, decades; obedient to that decision, comfortable in its sharp, hard-edged decisiveness, accepting it as…

The Green Book

Green Book is based on  real people, real events. It’s really about two characters: Tony “Lip” Vallelonga, famous for dealing with trouble, from a clannish Italian family in the Bronx ; Dr Donald Shirley, classical pianist from aspirational Jamaican parents, who’s grown up in an airy-fairy virtuoso-land, and happens to be black. In the course…

’62, Gifted and Black*

(originally added to my review of a movie, The Green Book, the connection being that both are set in 1962 and revolve around attitudes to blacks. (If I am allowed to say blacks. If not, what?) I was in a corner of the Students’ Union. About 20 of us were lounging in armchairs. Through a…

On a simpler level

Got up in the night as I often do and saw today's today's Google Doodle about Sojourner Truth. I scribbled "Now I know how to go on!" My piece on "The Free Soul", which I'd said would be first of a series, turned out to be a dead end. I'd wanted to stay with a…

The Free Soul

I've written several times about spiritual writings from the thirteenth century: Meister Eckhart, Julian of Norwich, Margery Kempe. Each risked being fingered by the Inquisition as a heretic, and took steps to demonstrate orthodox obedience to the powerful Catholic Church. Marguerite Porete stands out from the others and is the most interesting by far. Almost…

The Only Thing, Part 1

It has taken me till now, at the age of 76, to realize that Love is the only thing*: the primal thing, before there was a "heaven and earth", or in modern terms, Universe. To the ancients, heaven meant sky†. Others say that God is the primal thing. When I say God is Love it…

The Steps

So how did I get here? And what do I do now? There's a point when your kids are still little. They're little, but they're not babies anymore. They're starting to need their space. You're not just a young couple with a baby; you've officially reached that turning point where you're a "family." So you…

Dealing with the Void

The Void and I: A Story About Everything Scene one: I don’t believe in God, I think to myself ...Numbers make sense to me. God doesn’t make any sense. Thus begins a longish essay by Zat Rana. I marvel at the parallel paths in our writing and experience. He reminds me of me, never mind…

Becoming Animal

In another place, a members-only website for writers I've known for years, I've posted essays of exactly 200 words on complex topics. This is the latest. Consider language: words, spoken and written. They connect human beings. To David Abram it’s nigh universal in the animal kingdom: whether manifesting in sound, rhythm, gesture or scent. “A…

Smarts

From time to time, I come across these women online complaining that "Men are intimidated by smart women", and I can only presume that they're talking primarily about themselves, prompted by some personal experience that they found exasperating. The thing is, I'm not sure if this is something that's actually happening, or this is just…

The Fraud

(writing from Mumbai) As he sat in his armchair thinking about how useless his life had been, he couldn’t help contemplating his own mortality. Had he fallen from his motorbike a few inches further to the right, the van's tyre would have run over his head. Not that he was afraid of that possibility at…

An open letter to the person complaining . . .

Dear sir (or madame, or however you're supposed to formally address the fragile star children from the planet Zir who have recently come to walk among us), I saw a comment you left somewhere the other day, saying that you "can't stand" when people start sentences (or maybe it was paragraphs) with the word "and."…

200 words on life

On Twitter, Brian Spaeth set himself the goal of writing 200 words of work in progress each day. It sounds like a good exercise, though in my case  there is no novel or other ongoing project that begs attention. A while ago, trying to understand the possibilities in Twitter, I set up a Tweet of…